Monday, April 18, 2011

perfect spring

I had an extremely discouraging day recently.  Since my dad died one year ago, I've really struggled with the loss and the unwanted adjustment it's brought to my life.  For a million reasons, I found myself exceedingly disheartened a couple of weeks ago.  I couldn't imagine how in the world I was going pick myself up... until my sweet friend, Amy, texted me at 10:40 pm.  This girl has such an amazing heart for others, and was thinking about the kids at my school late that night.  She has organized a birthday ministry to help children in need, and is continually trying to make all of the arrangements to get gifts to the kids.  It's a full time job on top of her full time job!  So, at 10:40 pm, she texted me about birthday presents and then asked me how I was doing.  My answer was 'frustrated and very sad'.  Her perfect response was, "Let this encourage you." I waited a minute or so wondering what the encouragement was going to be.  She texted an amazing scripture to me:

The Lord will guide you always.  He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.  You will be like a spring whose waters never fail.      ~Isaiah 58:11

These were the perfect words for me for so many reasons... Spring is my favorite season.  I love it when the weather finally begins to warm up, and everything starts to bloom.  I love the bright green of spring.  When these days arrive, I always make it a point to walk in the afternoon when I get home from school.  On April 8 last year, I came home and began getting ready to enjoy a most perfect spring day.  It was so warm, so beautiful, and made me know that summer was on it's way.  I was completely dressed, iPod in hand, and just stepping out the door when my sister called to tell me that my dad had been in an accident.  Everything closed in and my world seemed to fall apart at that very moment.  In an instant I had gone from loving my day to losing my dad.

When I finally made it back home, spring was in full force, but I couldn't really take notice of it.  Someone had turned off the lights and I couldn't turn them back on.  Spring turned into summer, fall, and winter without me.  Even throughout the winter, I couldn't look forward to spring, I just didn't have it in me.  Although spring was on its way, I couldn't lift my eyes to see it.  That pretty much brings me to the night I received Amy's text asking me how I was doing.  'Frustrated and very sad.'

The verse she sent to me immediately lifted a lot of the heaviness I had been under.  It reminded me that I am not in this by myself.  And, although I've felt like I was a sun-scorched land, God will make me "like a spring whose waters never fail."  The words have an underlying message for me, that the "spring" inside my heart is not gone... instead it has waters that will never fail.  This brought me so much hope and encouragement that has stuck with me.  I know and I trust that I will be like spring... ready to wake up, ready to bloom, and filled with light.  Thank you, Amy.

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